Lies and half-truths: What should we do?

469

Who hasn’t lied to their parents?

I remember that, for me, there were different kinds of lies: the ones I told, so my parents wouldn’t worry, the half-truths, and the lies I hoped would get me out of trouble.

Children lie because it’s part of their natural development and social skills, but… What do we do when we find out they are lying to us?

1. Never take it personally.

Children are learning social rules, and when they lie, they don’t mean to hurt or disappoint you. It is important not to take the lie personally and to try to understand the real reason for the lie.

2. Planned responses

A good way to deal with a lie is to agree on the consequences of the lie and what it will imply before it happens.

You could give them a limited amount of time to think about what happened and see that what they did had a consequence. Then you can sit down together and talk about it while having a snack.

3- Be specific

It is essential that the consequences of a lie from your child be about the lie and the specific attitude. It’s not a good idea to recall previous lies. We want our kids to learn and understand that every action has a reaction, and that they can see it themselves.

4- Behaviour in the face of lies

We must avoid labelling the little ones when we are told a lie. You should focus on what made them want to lie and what they wanted to achieve, so you can tell them what would have been the honest way to reach their goal.

Above all, remember when you were a child like them and act in a kind way that makes your bond stronger.

These tips will help you build a relationship of trust and communication.

boboliland

Discovery magazine

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